Support for Siblings of Special Needs Children

Having a sibling with special needs

Most people can attest at some point getting into an agruement with their brother or sister or knows someone who has. Compound that arguement with a sibling who had a disability and it can add additional frustration to the situation.
Siblings of children with special needs have special needs themselves.  Their sister or brother with special needs will inevidably get a bigger share of attention.  While having a special needs sibling presents challenges, it also comes with opportunities. Kids who grow up with a sibling with special health or developmental needs may have more of a chance to develop many good qualities, including:

• patience
• kindness and supportiveness
• acceptance of differences
• compassion and helpfulness
• empathy for others and insight into coping with challenges
• dependability and loyalty that may come from standing up for their brother or sister.

What kinds of difficult feelings might a sibling have?

Siblings of special needs children may, at times, have trouble coping with being the sibling of a child with special needs. They may have many different and even conflicting feelings. For example, they may feel:

• worried about their sibling
• jealous of the attention their brother/sister receives
• scared that they will lose their sibling
• angry that no one pays attention to them
• resentful of having to explain, support, and/or take care of their brother/sister
• resentful that they are unable to do things or go places because of their sibling
• embarrassed about their sibling's differences
• pressure to be or do what their sibling cannot
• guilty for negative feelings they have toward their sibling or guilty for not having the same problems.

There is support out there!

Sibshops is program JUST for brothers and sisters of kids with special needs.  Children ages 8-13 who have a sibling with special health or developmental needs can connect with peers having similar family situations.  Together they play fun, high-energy games and talk about the good and not-so-good parts of having a sibling with special needs.
Sibshops is offered on Sundays afternoons at The Arc Montgomery County Children & Youth Services, 10611 Tenbrook Drive, Silver Spring, MD 20901.  There is a fee and pre-registration is required.

For more information about the Sibshops program in Montgomery County go to this link:
http://thearcmontgomerycounty.org/program-services/Seminars-Workshops/sibshops.html

Here are some websites with some additional information and resources for supporting siblings:

Breakdown of Supporting Siblings by Age and Issue
NYU Child Study Center
Sibling Support Project